Just Keep Living

Its Sunday night, the Saints just won the Super Bowl, we got pounded by the biggest snowstorm in the last 25 years, I found relatives that have been missing for 30 years, almost got bounced from the Clinical Trial, did get bounced on the ice, in other words a typical week in the Spencer household.

First things first. I went on Wednesday for my monthly checkup. Everything went well with my visit with Nurse Monica and the doctor. They were pleased with the way it was going. Of course, a couple of hours after I got home Nurse Monica called to tell me the urine sample showed high levels of creatinine and I should stop taking the medicine until we could redo the test. If the drug was hurting my one remaining kidney, I would have to stop it. I then spent the next 12 hours or so figuring out Plan B. I went back the next day and gave the sample after a couple of “failure to perform” attempts and about a gallon of water. The results came back in the normal range and I’m back on the drug. Plan B can wait.

On Thursday, after months and years of trying to find our Ritchie County relatives so they can sign off on a new oil lease so we can drill for gas again and start getting Royalties, I finally found them. We’ve tried everything short of hiring a Private Eye. I found a website that gave me phone numbers for free and got the numbers for all the Spencer’s in Auburn and Harrisville, WV. Auburn is where their farm was located and Harrisville is were Norval Dale Spencer had died in 1984. There were a total of 12. 6 were disconnected, 5 weren’t the right Spencer’s. The last one called back and told me he was the Grandson of the Norval Spencer I was looking for. I spoke with 3 of the 5 heirs and told them about the opportunity we have.
It wasn’t till the next day that I realized that they knew nothing about it, and if they hadn’t been paying the taxes, they could have lost them to the tax auction, or one of their ancestors had sold the rights along with the farmland. I don’t want to make that call to let them know if it turns out they no longer owned the rights.

Friday and Saturday were spent watching the weather channel and the windows as the snow kept on falling. I felt like I went to sleep in Maryland and woke up in Michigan or upstate New York!

Today was dig out day. Jason grabbed some of his friends to volunteer and our neighbor Bob was gracious enough to bring over his snow blower and clean it up. I attempted to help, immediately fell on my butt on the ice, right in front of Suki K no less, and decided on a less active roll. I ran for the hot chocolate and donuts, with Suki riding along as my translator. Is it just me, or is Spanish the local language in the fast food industry in Ellicott City. My hearing is bad enough, but when they start speaking with the accent, it is hopeless. Suki finally told them I wasn’t interested. I still don’t know what they were trying to get sell me.

Our close neighbors aren’t so lucky. They still are snowed in as the plows haven’t gotten to them yet. I can finally give something back. If you need a ride to the store or something picked up, call me and I’ll be there. I’m a firm believer in Pay it Forward.

It’s Monday night, and Jason and I just got back from that infamous Tailor shop, JC Penne’ where we got our suits for Jason’s big day. It has been a while since I bothered buying a suit, and Jason can’t get married in an old suit, can he?

Anyway, the little Indian guy working by himself was more than helpful, bouncing between 4 sets of customers. It is amazing that neither of our suits needed any alteration whatsoever. While neither of us will be mistaken for Ashton Kutcher, we looked good! I don’t understand when they changed how they measured the suit sizes. It’s been a while, but my suits have all been in the 46 - 48L, depending on the cut. The same size suit now is a 52R! I guess it’s another trick to make you thinking your getting more for the money.

Jess’ Graduation Party on Sunday went very well. The turnout was better than we thought because of the weather. Linda and Jess were competing in the punch consumption contest. I think Jess won, because Linda went to bed not long after the last guest left, and Jess went with Jason’s gang and was enjoying a Hot Tub for a few hours more.

I’ve noticed that I’ve been more observant in my retirement. During the funeral service at the church on Saturday I observed a brown string on the right buttock of the lady in the row in front of me. I wasn’t staring, mind you, but whenever we stood up to pray or sing, it was right there! It really stood out as it was a lite color on dark grey pants. I wasn’t sure what the proper etiquette would be. We had been introduced briefly, but I couldn’t remember her name. Should I just reach down and remove it? I might be able to pick it off nonchalantly, but it would required a major lean forward. What if it required a more substantial grab? A slap before I could explain would be the probable outcome, let alone how to explain it to Linda. A tap on the shoulder? Not in the middle of the service. I played it safe, and didn’t do anything, but I’m feeling guilty. What if she wears the pants again, without sending them to the cleaners. She may become the butt of a joke and it will be my fault.

I also am not a fan of the Radford family cemetary in Glen Burnie. The last time Linda, Jess and I went to visit her parents, we were all over the place and couldn’t find the gravesite! The hearse driver had that same problem Saturday, he drove around the cemetary for a while with all the cars in tow before he finally decided to stop and ask directions. Apparently the cemetary people didn’t know either, because we ended up in a new building where they had the final service.

I’m just kidding about the last part, it was an outstanding service and the shelter was much more comfortable that going to the actual grave site. We still don’t know where the gravesite actually is though. I guess when the weather breaks.

It’s Sunday night after an eventful few days. The last few friends left a while ago from Jessica’s Graduation Party. Jess starts her first Post Grad job on the 9th. She has three long term sub positions that will keep her busy through the school semester and has a shot at a contract for next year. It’s as good a start as you could expect. The party was a great success, with everyone enjoying good food and great company. While Linda and I aren’t empty nesters by any means, our children are adults now, with their education completed. The only remnants are the student loans. We’ll have them with us for a while.

Jessica, I’m happy for you.

We also lost a beautiful young man this last week. Linda’s brother Marshall and his wife Pat lost their son Eric this week. Eric was 27 years old and had suffered from Juvenile Diabetes since he was 6 years old. He had lost his sight several years ago, and had suffered many complications over the years. They believe it was a heart attack that finally took him. It will without a doubt leave a hole in the hearts of anyone who knew him. His best friend, who knew him better than almost anyone, described him as a fun loving friend that did everything he could to not let his illness hold him back. The Eric I remember best was a young child that was full of life.

All that pain is now gone, Eric will once again be running, he will once again see beautiful things, and finally be at peace.

Eric, I’m sad for your parents, family, and friends, but I’m happy for you.

I’m sorry its been so long between posts, but I don’t want to bore you with the inane. Everything is good. I’ve been managing the foot pain with the Aloe Vera and soaking them in a foot massager with Epson Salts, thank you Louanne. When it gets to bad, I stop taking the pill on Thursday and by Saturday morning I’m good to go. I can do this about once every 3 weeks or so. I’m picking my spots, as on the 13th, I’m the Best Man for my son’s wedding and don’t want to be hobbling around. I go back for my monthly checkup next week, then it’s another month for the CT scan.

I think I have found my true calling. I’ve shared with you some stories about our family history that I’ve been working on the last few weeks. A quick update would let you know that I’ve confirmed the relationship between Nicholas Spencer (1629) and the Spencer’s of England. I’m just missing 2 generations between Nicholas and our 7Grandfather Thomas, but when I do, it goes back to 1063 when the Saxon’s invaded England, up through George Washington, Winston Spencer Churchill, and Princess Diana.

I’ve been doing this day and night, along with a family business project that I’m working on.

This has allowed me to contact people inside and outside the family, bring cousins, aunt and uncles together that probably would have never done so. I haven’t had so much enjoyment just communicating with them, sharing stories, and learning things I never knew.

It shows me the importance of keeping in touch with friends and family. Imagine if you would, not being able to let someone close know of an illness or death in the family. Imagine calling after many years and finding out a brother or sister, mother or father had died. Imagine finding out a long lost friend from far away lived 15 minutes from you for the last 10 years?

So my friends, I’ve decided to become a preacher. A preacher of the importance of keeping in touch with family and friends. Haven’t talked to a brother, cousin, or good friend in too long? Call them, write them, visit them. If they are gone, contact their family. How excited would a son or daughter be to talk about a lost parent or grandparent with a friend that knew them intimately. To share stories, experiences, maybe something they didn’t know. What a gift that is.

Sometimes it’s hard to overcome some heartache or situation that caused the split, but it’s up to you to make that move. It may take a lot of effort, but what a reward to get that relationship back.

Think about it. I hope you enjoyed my sermon.

I want to talk about the past. Sometimes it makes you proud, sometimes it embarrasses you.

I’ve been able to spend some time developing a family tree for the Big Moses Spencer family. When we were growing up, it was said that we were granted the land by the King of England, and were related to Winston Spencer Churchill and later Princess Diana.

I became Administrator of the Spencer Farm in 1986, when my Uncle Dennis G Spencer passed away. I wanted to find out more information about our family tree. We had found a bunch of old papers in a firebox that Uncle Dennis had. The original deed, dated 1870 deeding the Big Moses Farm from Moses to Stephen (my great-grandfather), Marion, and Oliver Spencer, his three sons, was in that box. I had found through several sources that Moses father Alfred had actually bought the farm in the 1830’s. I also found in the 1790 Census at the National Archives, the first Moses Spencer, Alfred’s father. I was later able to ascertain that Thomas Bolton Spencer was Moses’ father. We haven’t been able to get any information on Thomas’ father for the last 18 years or so.

Inasmuch as I have some free time, I’ve been at it again. I’ve started a family tree, have been able to get a lot of information between 1800 and today, but nothing on Thomas’.

The thing I knew about him was that he was born in Buckingham County, Va. I decided to start looking there at the county records. I was able to find one Nicholas Spencer who was born to an Aristocratic Family in England in 1929 and came over to America to help the Culpepper family manage their estate. His predecessors included several Earls and went back to the 1400’s and was probably descended from the De Spencer’s from France even earlier than that.

Nicholas Spencer came over with 3 brothers, whose names I haven’t found. In any case, if he isn’t a direct ancestor, the chance that there were 2 unrelated Spencer Families in the late 1600’s and early 1700’s is remote. I have the names of his sons, but there are two generations missing because of the Buckingham Courthouse burning sometime in the early 1700’s and I haven’t been able to get past that. I’m still looking for the missing links.

Nicholas was a very important person back then, at first an administrator and tax collector, eventually becoming the Acting Governor of Virginia. He was related the Washington’s and jointly owned what was Mt Vernon with John Washington, George’s grandfather. They split the property, with John getting the Mt Vernon part, and Nicholas getting the lower Northern Neck portion. He also owned land on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. He was in charge during some very volatile times, and was a strict capitalist. He was a pretty harsh man, with the seizing of beaver skins, and collection of taxes.

Here is his description from the Wikipedia website:

Spencer was apparently a pragmatic administrator. He was also a hard-nosed capitalist. When it came to slavery, for instance, Spencer weighed the benefits of enslaved labor in a strictly cost-benefit way. “The low price of Tobacco,” Spencer wrote, “requires it should bee made as cheap as possible, and that Blacks can make it cheaper than Whites.”[14] Spencer’s rationale for slavery was probably as succinctly heartless as any committed to paper.

So you see, both my pride and my embarrassment.

Today was a good day in the Spencer household, although it did have the normal ups and downs. The big up was today was Jessica’s Commencement from Towson. She is now a college graduate! It started out OK, with everyone up on time and out of the house on time. I was running point with Jess and Matt in the green Buick, Jason had the easy chair, and Linda driving my sister Denise and Hubby Randy bringing up the rear.

Everything was going OK until that old “Chicago bug” hit Linda again. She decided to follow an old black Crown Vic instead of Jason and kept on going straight on 695 rather than follow us down Charles. She had Denise call to let us know that Jason had gone off the exit and was afraid he would get lost. Of course I informed them that Jason was following me. With many loops around and back and forth, they finally made it in time for the ceremony.

We were parked in a different lot, so I gave them directions home. They decided to follow Jason instead and he then proceeded to go the wrong was on 695. He realized his mistake and turned around at the next exit, but of course they kept on going.

We finally all met at Jilly’s and had Jess’s Commencement Lunch and watch the Ravens eat the Patriots lunch at the same time.

When we got back, the second half had just started. On the coldest day of the year, Jason decided he wanted to jump start his motorcycle. He plugged in the trusty old jumper box and it immediately started burning and the power to the garage popped off. Of course that’s where the Verizon Fios is plugged in, so we were instantly without TV, Internet and phones. Jason, Randy and I were trying just about everything to get it back on, running extension cords inside, flipping switches, and to many things to mention. I finally broke down and called Mitsi because she’s the Man when it comes to getting something done around your house. I was steeling myself for the electrician’s visit, when Linda and Mitsi were talking about it and someone suggested the reset button in the upstairs bathroom. Of course, I refused to cooperate because everyone knows that an upstairs bathroom reset button would have nothing to do with the power in the garage. Linda took matters into her own hands and wonder of wonders, it worked. I guess we’re even for the day.

Two things have come out of this. My sister Denise and Randy are committed to coming to Jason’s wedding next month, but I don’t think we’ll see them in Maryland for a long while after. Randy’s hair was two shades lighter after being a passenger with Linda. Denise may come on her own, but Randy will be a little tougher.

The second is the trips to Arizona to see my aunt, Michigan to see my father’s family, and Florida to see more relatives with have to wait. I’m going to take Linda to Chicago to get it out of her system!

Today was Jessica’s day, however, and we couldn’t be more proud of her. The first college graduate of the Maryland chapter of the Spencer’s. She qualified for a Cum Laude applause but didn’t bother standing up to accept it. (3.5+GPA, Dean’s List for 7 semesters). She had her first job already lined up Wednesday, subbing at the school she’ll be a long term sub. She will be the best teacher they have every seen. Of course she has her faults, like being a Ravens fan and dying her hair dark brown. I guess nobody’s perfect.

Anytime that you can go across Baltimore City on Lombard St, from Broadway to Howard, make a left on Howard and hit 395 without hitting a red light, it’s a good day.

It happened to Jess and I today as we were leaving Johns Hopkins after we got our report card. While there was less shrinkage, there was still some shrinkage on nodules in my lungs and around my Pancreas. Everything else was stable, with no new nodules and no growth whatsoever. That’s about as good a report as you can get. The doctors and Monica told me to keep up the good work. I plan to. I go back in February for a checkup. The next scan is in March.

The game plan now is to keep on doing what we’re doing. I can take a “vacation” of a few days if my feet get too sore, but everything else is tolerable.

I had an appointment with my Urologist to follow up on the Urinary Tract Infection I had a couple weeks ago. The difference in the level of care from Johns Hopkins is very apparent. When I do the pee test at JH, they give me a jar in a plastic bag along with a towelette to wash myself after I’m done. I return it in the plastic bag to the attendant. At the Urologist he told me to go into the bathroom and pee in one of the paper cups laying in there and bring it out to him when I was done. I did so and he put it on the sink and put a little test strip in it and declared that I no longer had the infection. He looks at the CT scan report I had brought and told me I wouldn’t need to come back for a couple of years.

Jess wanted to go with me to JH, but I got to tell you that I was a little bit nervous about that. What if the report wasn’t so good? I thought about emailing Nurse Monica to let her know if it was bad news to give it to me by myself, but I never did. If you have to tell bad news, you like a little time to figure out the right “spin”, you know what I mean?

Linda made a comment to me a few days ago about my being nervous about the CT scan. Looking back, I must admit I was. It kind of reminded me about the Vietnam Tour. When you first get there, you wake every 20 minutes when you hear something unusual. After a while, you can sleep through just about everything. When your tour is just about over, you start hearing those things again. I remember the last night in Quin Nhon. I was in a barracks near the airport when some mortars struck nearby. I spent the rest of the night between the barracks and the sandbags! I got that far, and wasn’t going to get stopped there.

Here we are at the beginning of the tour again, I can get some sleep.

It’s just past midnight and we’ve been dancing the night away! The Centuries are playing here at Michael’s 8th Ave. The food is great!

Bill and Sandy, Louis and Mitsi, Frank and Debbie, Jerry and Gail, Gary and Carol, Steve and Sharon all shared a table and just had a good old time.

We are all in rare form. I lost my tie a long time ago during the 60’s set. The food is ok, but who cares? The music is outstanding. The trick to beating the long line at the bar is two drinks at once. The girls are all flirting with Debbie’s boss, the Senator. They all took pictures with him, all showing some leg. He better hope that doesn’t make the papers. Bek and Eric are watching the kids and staying over, so there’s no rush home.

I’ve been an equal opportunity dancer, making sure that I danced with all the girls. Steve, Sharon, Linda and I all danced together and sang “Color my World”. Linda and I did our “Staying Alive” dance routine when they flashed back to the Disco era.

I’m not sure who will drive, but we will be driving slow and taking the back roads.

My how the time has passed. While all of this is true, it’s just the good memories we have.

Linda and I enjoyed the evening together. Had some subs from Jerry’s, watched a movie, and she went to bed before 11:00.

I took my nap a little earlier so I could watch the ball drop. We can do what we can do. Don’t worry, be happy!

Happy New Year!

It’s Monday night, a day longer between blogs than I wanted. We had a great visit with my sister Denise and her hubby Randy. We didn’t do much, rode around in the rain showing off the preserve and Jason’s church and a few other points of interest on Saturday. We all watched a movie Saturday night, and they left early Sunday so Randy could watch the Steelers from the comfort of his own home. He broke my record, 4 hrs door to door.

Linda and I went to see Avatar yesterday at the 3:45 showing. We got there 30 minutes before the show and ended up in the front row. After about 5 minutes of watching in 3d, I got a severe case of motion sickness! We got a credit and plan to go back tomorrow. We’ll be sitting in the back, and I’m going to pass on the 3d! I remember when I could ride just about any roller coaster around, but not any more.

As far as my meds go, I’m still doing good. BP is good, feet don’t hurt, and everything else is under control. I started back on the Thyroid meds this morning so I’ll be watching that.

I visit my Urologist next Monday. Since I got the UTI, Nurse Monica felt I should visit him and make sure there’s nothing going on there. If I got to do a cystoscopy, I’m going to make them put me under. I remember doing it before awake, couldn’t handle it now!

My cousin DeAnna’s husband died early this morning. He had been in ill health for several years and it finally took him. He was in the hospital for several weeks, and hadn’t be awake for several weeks. After shooting him with morphine, and trying just about everything else, they finally recommended stopping the ventilator. I spoke with DeAnna tonight, and she is doing OK. She’s been preparing for it, so I think she’s a little relieved that LeRoy isn’t suffering anymore. Like my Mom, he hung in there longer than they thought possible. They had been married 40+ years.

George Michael, the Sportscaster for Channel 4 also passed away Christmas Day. I watched him for 28 years as the voice of the Redskins during their glory years. He died after a 2 year battle with cancer. I didn’t know him, but I enjoyed his work and he was obviously respected by everyone he came in contact with.

I just wanted you guys to know that I’m really a coward. I’m not afraid of dying, but I am not interested the pain and suffering that Mom and Leroy went through. Watching what my sister and Deanna went through while this was happening is nothing that I want Linda, Jason, and Jessica to have to go through. I’m going to work on my little situation with optimism and attitude, but when it’s time, I don’t want to hang around. I am at peace with this. Just so you all understand.

It’s Friday night, Christmas Day. Linda’s asleep, Jess, Jason, and Kim are in their rooms doing whatever. My sister Denise and Hubby Randy are downstairs asleep after braving the freezing rain, fog, and broken windshield wipers to come in for Christmas. It’s the first time they’ve been here for Christmas forever.

It just shows once again why I’m the luckiest guy in the world! The year started out kind of rough. The car business as you all know, has been in the dumper for over a year. I spent the first two months trying to help get Academy Ford through this unprecedented time. I was just barely getting by, moving money around, finally borrowing from Linda’s retirement, just to keep our nose above water. I had an offer to go back to Len Stoler, which had a much better potential for income than where I was. I passed because I had just purchased inventory for our lot and felt that I was responsible for getting that inventory sold. You can’t leave a small dealership in the lurch like that and have a clear conscience. I stayed and was able to sign up for a short term disability policy because I had been there long enough.

In May, just by chance, I had a bleeding colon. I’m not going to repeat it as you have already heard it a bunch of times, but because of that, they found the cancer. Just like the first time, no symptoms, no lost weight, just sneaking around in there, found by chance. I guess that’s why I’m such a lousy gambler, all my luck is saved for the important stuff.

Unlike the last time, Academy Ford bent over backwards to help me. They came with me to the auction. Said nothing when I would take off a 5:30 at night, or come in late. They let me take a week off when I had no vacation. And they made sure everything was done right so I would qualify for my disability pay. By the way, I was past the prior cancer 7 year disqualifying period by 5 months, Nov 2001 to April 2002. I qualified for the disability pay, which has been a godsend over the last few months and will be through february.

Our friends jumped in so fast to help, it made me dizzy. I had so many calls, offers to help, I almost couldn’t catch my breath. Our refrigerator died, they bought one. Our bathroom leaked, they got it fixed along the with damage to the room below. I can’t remember when I’ve paid for a meal when we go out. They gave me a contact at the VA, and I found out about Benefits that I never new existed and I may be getting in the near future. The calls, emails, visits for support have just been remarkable.

They go with me to the hospital for my tests. They have helped me take every step, and believe me, it makes it easier. The stress that they have helped remove from my family and myself is priceless.

Over the past few months, I have recontacted and stayed in contact with too many friends and family to count. I’ve even got a new family branch that I didn’t know anything about!

So here I sit, Christmas Eve night 2009. I’m feeling pretty lucky. Yes, I have this little situation, but I’m ahead of the curve right now. With a little tweeking, and some options I’ve been offered, we will be able to stand on our own, reasonably. There will be some adjustments, but the alternative is not worth talking about at this point. I’m maintaining my gotta be there list, and my bucket list isn’t very long, but we’ll adjust it as we go along. The thing I learned with my first little go around is, you take baby steps and your goals are easier to get to, and the next one is just a short distance away, and you don’t get discouraged.

My next three gotta be there’s are Jan 6th, the second CT results. Jan 10th, Jess’ Graduation, and February 13th, Jason and Kim’s wedding. I know I’m good for those.

I’ll be adding to the list.